Change of Heart

If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Ain't that the truth.

Training for half-marathon is tough enough when you've got the time, energy and desire to push through all those greuling, 5:00 am "tempo/speed" runs and two hour long "long runs" on the weekend.

Add in just a pinch of the basic factor of "life" and it gets even tougher yet.

Throw in a dash of my-knees-are-the-size-of-grapefruits-and-feel-like-they're-going-to-explode and my-nerve-is-pinched-in-my-back-again and things go downhill fast.

So have you guessed what I'm getting at here???


That's right, I'm over this whole half-marathon thing. I've offically decided that I'm not going to run it - at least not this year.

I guess I've just kinda realized that there's more important things to me right now than killing myself trying to get my training runs in. I wasn't planning on having two jobs when I decided to commit to 10 weeks of training. If I hadn't taken on this second job, I think it would be a different story.

But, its not. I've realized that I either need to give up the job or the running. And, frankly my dears, I'm hating the running and loving the job. So it was not that hard of a decision for me to make.

I'll admit, I'm a little bummed out and jealous of my friends who are sticking with it. And I may have shed a tear yesterday after the toughest 2 mile run of my life, that was supposed to be a 7-miler, and I realized that I really didn't want to be doing this. That was my turning point.

I've worked so hard to get to the point where running was an outlet and joy but in 3 short weeks of training, I had come to dread each and every run. And when I finally made myself get on the treadmill, I hated every second of it and felt worse and more run-down afterwards.

I am no longer experiencing the "runner's high". Its just all lows. Dread and lows.

I've already removed all of my training runs from my calendar and have "re-sync'd" my cell phone to reflect the changes. I already feel calmer. Ahhhhhh! (that was a sigh of relief)

I really don't know what I was thinking... I only ran a handful of 5k's last year. I haven't even done a 10k. I obviously bit off more than I could chew.

Also, my knees are really starting to worry me. I could hardly walk on Saturday. I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for this Friday morning to see if its something I should really be concerned about or if its something I just need to work through with my handy dandy ice pack.

So, now, I'm going to focus my efforts on becoming debt-free and staying healthy. I have really missed my morning strength training and it also didn't feel right to not end it with some cardio since I had eliminated cardio due to my training. I've decided I'm just going to take a week off from stressing about working out/running and next week I will start my strength training routine again with cardio.

In other news, Jason is supposed to call his boss today to see if they've gotten any work. Let's hope so! I'd like to be putting the money I'm making at the restaurant toward debt not necessities!! This is starting his third week of being laid off. No fun!! I know he's starting to go nuts with being at home all the time - especially with me being gone so much.


Well, until next time...
-Lacey